Sayings I hate, Part 1

"Everything in balance"

Sounds so enlightened, so easy to just let it roll off your tongue.  But what does it MEAN?

I usually hear it when I discuss my diet with people.  I get responses like "No grains!  That seems extreme, I believe in everything in balance."

Okay, I'll just say it:  That's what you say when you have NO F***ING CLUE about the subject matter at hand.  You want everything in balance? 

So, what is this magical balance of food?  If I told you that there were three food groups and they were particle board, rat poison, and steak, how would you choose to balance those?  I just made up those food groups, you say?

The generally accepted food groups themselves are made up!  The only reason we have a food group called grains is because we discovered thousands of years ago that we could cultivate and grow crops and get a lot of food per unit of land.

If instead we had found a certain type of tree that would regrow its bark overnight, and the bark was somewhat edible if we crushed it and soaked it and cooked it, then we'd have found a way to get a lot of food from bark.  And undoubtedly we'd be hearing how we have to "eat our healthy whole barks!"

It's a made up food group that only exists due to mechanized farming.  That's it!

If you want to balance things (whatever that means!) then at least apply some thought to what things you're lumping together to balance. 

And if I'm singing to the choir, next time you hear someone say they believe in all things in balance, ask them if they really intend to balance everything good in their diet with something bad.  Chances are they'll contradict themselves almost immediately. 

Then drop it.  You can't educate the unwilling.

But you can poke fun at them.