One For The WTF File

I suppose this could also be labeled Why I Hate Whole Foods.  It pisses me off every time I go to Whole Frauds to buy some grass fed beef, and I'm inundated with vegan propaganda horseshit.

Oh well, they do seem to have the best grass fed beef.  But this other stuff just kills me:

On my most recent trip, I was walking down an aisle and noticed something labeled "Primal Jerky" and got excited for a moment.  Then I read the ingredients.  Wholey Crap!  Please check it out here, at the appropriately named FakeMeats.com.  Really?

If you don't follow the link, let me just say there's no meat in it, and the first ingredient is GLUTEN!

W

T

F

Seriously.  Nothing says "Primal" better than gluten and soy, oh my!  So I tossed it back on the shelf in disgust and stopped over in the produce section to grab some sweet potatoes.  While picking them out, a helpful employee stopped to advise me on how to choose them.  His advise was interesting, but the conversation was even more interesting.  He asked how we cooked them, and I said we peeled them, cubed them, and cooked them in coconut oil.  His response was one for the record books!  He said "Wow, I just started cooking with coconut oil.  Evidently it's one of the best oils to cook with because it's the one lowest in fat."

So pure fat is the lowest in fat.

Uh...wait...no, divide by zero...carry the zero...crap, my brain nearly exploded!

In a moment of Zen-like oneness with my non-asshole side, I took a moment to calm myself and ignored the 3,256 smartass responses that burst into my head.  I just smiled and told him that if he really enjoyed coconut oil he should try cooking the sweet potatoes in it.  I shared that it gave them a wonderful rich flavor that was brought out further with some salt and onion or onion powder.  Am I getting soft in my old age?

With the sweet potatoes loaded in the basket and a chuckle I headed for the checkout aisle.  On the way I noticed the book section with a book on how to feed your kids.  I flipped the book open to a random page and read "It's good to start with some protein first thing in the morning, so some veggie sausage as a starter, and then some oatmeal with brown sugar..."

Was That For-real?  (See how I sneaked another WTF in there?)  I must not be getting too old because I wanted to start beating the crap out of the people responsible.

I live in a world where "Primal" jerky strips are made from gluten and soy.

I live in a world where coconut oil is healthy because it has less fat.

I live in world where veggie (meaning soy in this case) sausage followed by grains and sugars is considered a good breakfast for my kids.

I thrive in this world in spite of the craziness because I choose to educate myself and act accordingly.

And I stay out of jail because I refuse to give in to the impulse to punch the daylights out of the vegan Whole Frauds employee who tries to push his propaganda on me.