Speech Impediments

While talking with a friend the other day I was shocked by a severe speech impediment he had.  He was telling me that he had no willpower, couldn't stick to anything for very long, and was constantly compromising his goals in life but it was hard for me to understand his garbled words.  Instead, it sounded just like "Yeah, that's too strict for me, I'm a big believer in the 80/20 rule."

Oh, the 80/20 rule. That's when 80% of the time your sphincter is stretched around your 20" neck.  Is that the rule to which you refer?

Come on, people!  There are places to apply this rule and places to not apply the rule.  It's not a free pass to be a loser.  Sheesh.  If something's genuinely bad, it's bad 100% of the time.  Neutral stuff can be folded in 20% of the time with no big deal.

Want to do 80/20 on low carb?  No problem, carbs aren't bad.

Want to strive for at least 80% of your beef being grass fed?  Sounds good.  IF you eat out, it sounds ambitious, but it's a good goal.

Want to hit at least 80% of your workouts with high intensity and phone it in the rest of the time?  Heck, that'll still work.  Because the 20% is still better than being on the couch.  And that 80/20 overall is WAY better than being on the couch.

But when you're talking about things that are genuinely bad and harmful, the 80/20 rule doesn't apply.

Being shot is genuinely bad.

What 20% of your body are you willing to let me aim the gun at while I play Russian roulette?

Being raped is genuinely bad.

Name the 20% of your friends who can be raped without you caring.

Rat poison?  Bad.

So you just won't have it in more than 20% of your meals and then it's fine?

You have 5 beautiful kids.

You're happy if just 4 of them grow up to be happy adults, right?

You get the idea here.  Rules are best applied with a degree of intelligence.  Use that hat holder just above your shoulders to figure out when an 80/20 rule applies and when it's just an excuse to keep sabotaging yourself.

Shooting for LESS responsible

I'm reflecting on what I was doing just under a year ago this time. Here are my notes from that time:

One hot sunny day In the summer of 2012 we loaded up our 40 year old single engine airplane to maximum weight and left our airport home in Texas behind. 

We dodged thunderstorms all the way to South Georgia where we spent the night then got to know a DEA helicopter pilot while we waited on the weather to clear.  We eventually made it to south Florida where we stumbled across an amazing restaurant and hotel for the night.  

The next morning we rented an inflatable life raft and headed across the water to the Bahamas. We flew every day but two of the next nine days and saw fifty shades of blue water and as many shades of red skin. 

We walked on two of the worlds top ten most beautiful beaches. We swam over the worlds deepest blue hole. We fed swimming pigs and swam with sharks and saw Johnny Depp's island. We swam through Thunderball Grotto and stood in the middle of the ocean on a blue and white sandbar.

We boated past a waterspout ten minutes after flying under the cloud that gave birth to it.   We caught a 1/4" fish in our hands and named It Herbert. (We later let it go.)

We spent the last two days in Atlantis before finishing our 3000 mile trip and parking the plane at home. Next summer we plan to be less responsible.

Well, that pretty well sums it up. Now the airplane is about to turn 41 and I'm about to turn 46. I wonder what's on the less responsible list for this summer's adventures.

Putting Things Overhead

When I was a kid, I thought I knew what weightlifting was.  For me it just meant anything you did to make your muscles bigger so chicks would look at you more.  I was clear that girls staring at your body was a good thing...as long as it wasn't in abject horror like they did to Ernie, the really fat kid.

Today when I hear "weightlifting" I think Olympic Weightlifting.  There is still some causation and correlation in getting girls to check you out, but that's not the big payoff.  The big payoff is the incredible satisfaction from putting something heavy over your head.

I can't really put my finger on it, but there is something about going overhead that makes me feel powerful in a way that no other movement makes me feel.  Pulling triples at 425 on a deadlift is cool.  Benching 265 for 3 is also cool.  But I don't beam with self congratulation after either of those things.  When I put something overhead and hold it there for just a bit, THAT is a special moment.

Today we were doing squat cleans straight into thrusters.  Not the best way to move maximal weight, but a fun thing nonetheless.  Finished at 205 at a bodyweight of 204.  That's just cool.  I can take something on the ground that weighs more than I do, pick it up high enough to drop under it until it lands on my shoulders in a full front squat, then stand it up fast enough to press and lock it out overhead.

When I started CrossFit I had a measly 252 deadlift.  I decided a while ago that I wanted to take that same weight (actually, 3 pounds more) and put it overhead.  That seemed like a hallmark of sorts.  If I've gone from being able to pick it up to being able to toss it overhead, that's progress, right?

So since making that goal my clean has progressed from 235 to 255 so I have part of the movement down.  My push press has progressed from 215 to 235.  I still have a ways to go on that, but proficiency at the jerk rather than a push press will get me the extra 20 pounds.  Sometime this year, I'll load a barbell with 255 pounds and put it overhead.  And the grin I'll have afterward won't ever be achieved by someone slaving away on an elliptical machine or hitting the pec deck with all their might.

If you want the satisfaction of actually lifting weights, pick them up and put them overhead.  I think it's the best test of strength there is. And what's cooler than throwing big weights up over your head?  Not much I can think of.

Integrity, CrossFit, Who Are You Cheating?

I'll tell you who you're cheating:  You're cheating me.  I'll circle back to that in a bit.

First, a quick ethics lesson from Nassim Taleb, as you can read on his page here.

"If you see fraud and don't shout fraud, you are a fraud" - Nassim Nicholas Taleb.

Harsh, huh?  How many of us do this?  I know I don't.  And I know why.  And it all pisses me off, some at myself and some at the fraudulent person.

All of this is in response to a recent CrossFit workout in which I was not participating.  A little strained muscle made me focus on some slow squats instead, and I was free to count reps while people worked out.

What I found shocked me.  It dropped my faith in humanity just a bit.  It was obvious, blatant, and persistent through the workout.  When what should be sets of 10 reps become sets of 6-9 for every single set, it's not an accident.  When someone does sets of 10 until someone else finishes before they do, and then those sets all become less than 10 reps, it's not an accident.  This was just cheating the rep scheme, pure and simple.

So, I'll start addressing those people as "you" for the remainder of this rant.  Either identify with my position, or be the one I'm speaking to from here on out, it's up to you...and you know which it should be.

So who gives a crap?  Well, I do, for multiple reasons.  I care because to exclaim "Time!" when you've done at best 70-75% of the workout is a fraud.  It's an obvious fraud.  And to the extent I agree with Taleb, then my not shouting fraud makes me a fraud as well.

Well, guess what.  I don't want to be your nanny.  I don't want to take an environment in which we should encourage each other and be the pissy jerk who screams FRAUD when you're being a fraud.  I just don't want to be that.  So I have a choice.  I can either feel that I am a fraud to some extent because I didn't say anything, or I can say something, not be a fraud myself, but also not enjoy my time at the gym.

And why am I faced with a choice between two things, neither of which I like?  Because you're f***ing cheating, that's why!!

So, your fraud puts me in a position I don't like.  And for what?  So you can CLAIM you performed 100 reps in X minutes when you really did about 73?  Again, for what?  Does it determine if you stay on the team, get your Christmas bonus, or land the big account?  No, it's just a smudge of dry erase marker on a white board.  And for that smudge you'll compromise your own integrity and impact mine as well?  Well, that kinda pisses me off.

But, there's another reason you're cheating me.  I do all my reps, and I proudly put that smudge on the white board, and then I see where I stack up.  See, I use that to motivate me.  I use my rankings on the board to get more performance out of myself.  When I'm tired, out of breath, with my heart thumping like two rabbits mating in my chest I'm trying to do JUST A LITTLE more because I WANT TO BEAT YOU!

I enjoy being competitive.  It brings out my best levels of performance.  I'll say it again:

I WANT TO BEAT YOU!!!
 
That time on the board is my indication of where I am relative to you, and dozens of other people who ostensibly did the same thing I did.  And there's the key:  It only works to compare IF WE DO THE SAME THING.  If you do 73 reps instead of 100, or if you don't actually do a full range movement, and I do, then  what does that number mean?  Nothing.

And THAT is how you cheat me.  You rob me of one of my key motivational drivers.  You take away my ability to genuinely see how I stack up.  What should be motivating for both of us turns into a false accomplishment for you and demotivating disgust within me.  So why are you doing it?

I suggest that if you want your time on the board, earn it.  If you don't want to earn it, don't lie and put it up there.  Don't say you did it RX when you didn't.  Don't say you did the reps when you didn't.

I can overlook a lot and still like someone as a person.  That holds for this as well.  It's not that I don't like you, it's not that you're a bad person.  You're simply sabotaging one of the motivators I use to make myself better and I wish you would stop.  And you're not getting anything positive out of it either!

At some level, how is your performance held back because you know you're cheating?  Do you really believe that your mind and body will deliver their best to you when you know that you're cheating?  I don't think so.  On some level, you know you don't deserve accolades, so you will (perhaps subconsciously) sabotage yourself elsewhere.  The part of your brain that understand ethics yet doesn't act ethically still knows right and wrong, and you haven't fooled it into thinking you deserve the best.  Maybe there's much greater things for you physically as well as mentally on the right side of being honest.

Finally, to the fire-breathers with integrity, thanks for real, honest motivation.  Oh, and I'm still going to try to beat you at every single workout.  While that may not motivate you because I'm not even nipping at your heels, you can have faith that I'll never short my reps just to try to fool someone into thinking it's closer than it really is.